What is holding you back? More importantly, why? You have a goal. Briefly close your eyes and think about what that might be. Is it scary?
A hill too high or a bridge too far?
Sometimes it is difficult to get off the mark to begin the process to achieve it. I am going to discuss what might be holding you back. What may be limiting your full potential and what are some steps to take to begin your journey.
Days turn into weeks turn into months if we aren’t aware of what is happening. Kids grow up fast and most of the time we are just holding on for the ride. By the time they are grown, we are so exhausted or so set in our patterns that any further progress toward a goal seems overwhelming.
Here is a little secret, there will soon be a time when it is just you and your military spouse.
The kids will be moving on and you will be looking right into your spouse’s eyes. What is your dream? After being married to my military husband for 25 years, I have had plenty of opportunity to try new things, doubt myself, succeed at some and fail at others. That, my friend, is called life!
If there is something you want and you can’t get off the mark, I have some suggestions for you.
Silence the Inner Negative voice
Quiet those voices of the past still whispering in your head since you were a child. “That’s too dangerous. Don’t be silly, you don’t want to do that. You can’t, you shouldn’t, you won’t make it.” SILENCE them, now!!!
Are you telling yourself you will do it—tomorrow—next year—after spring break—after we PCS—after deployment—after we retire. Are the risks too much? The cost /value too great? Do you want things to be perfect before you can begin? Do you have to lose 2 pounds before you can lose 10?
Or are you just not ready to take the leap to achieve your goals? Are you afraid? Maybe you haven’t even taken time to think about what goal you would like to reach? Again, close your eyes and contemplate what that might look like.
Keep it secret, keep it safe
I recently read a line from a John Le Carré Book, The Little Drummer Girl.
“She had no intention of giving him such a golden chance to pour scorn on yet another of her fantasies…She had no solution but to hug her secret to herself…”
Don’t share your dream with anyone who will discount it, or you. Share your dream with those who expect you to succeed. I agree that those friends you call and joke with and wallow around in your collective self-pity are fun, but when you are ready to make a change—you will either keep it to yourself or ask for their full support.
That may be challenging. “OK, sister, I know I have said this before, but I really need your help and support on this.” If you have a moment of doubt that you will have their support, shhhh… keep it to yourself.
During the COVID lockdown, I began secretly studying for my PMP Certification. I work amongst a young group of IT professionals. That age gap can be a bit intimidating. Not knowing what their level of support may have been, I kept it to myself and simply prepared. After several months,
I took the exam and joyfully, PASSED! I, the oldest amongst them had accomplished something that others within my department had previously failed to do.
Here is the question
I wonder if I had shared my intention with those same people prior to my exam, would I have been as driven to pass it? Would I have allowed doubt to replace my drive?
Would I have let them convince me, that the juice ‘aint worth the squeeze?
I will, happily, never know. Where to begin?
Make a plan.
Write it down and stay positive. Write down what is holding you back and look that sucker in the eye! You know all about Battle Rhythms. Pre-planning tomorrow, next week and as far out as you can go is the key to success. If you don’t know what you are shooting for, you will never make it.
Change your view
Clean your area to create new ideas. Start with a clean surface around you. This does not mean, clean your desk, rearrange the furniture then before you know it, you are on your way to Lowes for a new gallon of paint the walls so desperately DON’T need.
Don’t get sidetracked, but get a new view.
Change your pattern
If your struggle is motivation to get up and get going, do something new. Get up without pushing the snooze button. Place a water bottle next to your bed and drink 16 oz before your morning coffee.
Step outside and get a little warm sunshine on your face. SMILE! Shake those cobwebs out of your head and off your desk. This is a new day!
Simply by doing something that is out of your normal daily pattern is enough to trigger positive energy and confidence.
Find your “Why”
Entrepreneur and motivational speaker, Jim Rohn, once said,
“If it’s important you’ll find a reason. If it isn’t you’ll find an excuse.” That’s it! Find your why. Why is this dream important to you and to your family? Find it, write it down, take the steps you know you need to do to achieve it.
Although I did crank this blog out before my deadline, I will also say the area under and around my refrigerator has never been cleaner. We all have a bit of procrastination and distraction to overcome.
That is called life!
*Get to know Jenny better by visiting her Instagram page @jennymanagofitness.
*Find more blogs to connect with in the Band of Bloggers.
Written By: Jenny Manago with missionmilspouse.org
