This week I am at the end of the rope with my husband’s branch of service. You see, he’s about to transition back into the civilian world and all the sudden they are finding mistakes they made two years ago that we now have to pay for (some rather literally). I know there had to be another dual military marriage out there feeling the same way…
And then there is their inability to figure out how to count leave dates and travel time and proceed time to correctly calculate his date of departure. Now I know I pick on his branch because they are known more for having big muscles than big brains, but that’s usually just in good clean competition between branches. This time, however, I am beyond frustrated because sometimes doing this dual military marriage, geo-bachelor, cross-branched marriage is more than I can handle without a margarita.
You see, I do the admin job that helps people make sure all their stuff is lined up for transfer. I can guide someone in the right direction and tell them exactly what happens where there are issues of over payment or lack of payment. I know the rules and regulations because it’s my job. Sitting here, being completely unable to do anything, is making me crazy! I decided I couldn’t possibly be alone in this frustration. I knew there had to be more dual-mil spouses out there who could understand the trials and tribulations that come with both spouses wearing uniforms. I wanted to know what would be on their pro and con list. What makes them ready to pull out their hair and what balances it all out and makes it so worth it.
CONS OF THE DUAL MILITARY MARRIAGE
Sara- “Getting to a point where I know and accept that one career is going to have to be cared for and fed over the other. Knowing is half the battle, accepting is the other half…”
Mary- “I remember getting those calls in the middle of the night looking for Chief Gamet and having to ask, ‘Which one?’”
Jordan- “We’re always getting uniform items mixed up. I’ve lost count of how many times he and I have accidentally worn each other’s boots to work.”
Andrea- “Being a lazy gal married to a command fitness leader!”
Megan- “You have no idea what to do when you’re actually together for holidays and big events.”
Deanna- “Having to label your uniforms so you don’t accidentally take the wrong uniform to work and end up wearing very long pants!”
Danielle- “When you’re not the same rank and you grab the wrong cover and blouse. I got to be aircrew for a day. It took my work center three hours before they realized I had the wrong blouse on.”
Southern- “I take his boot straps when I need to because I lose mine like they are hair ties, so he steals my socks because he knows how much I like the ones with the white bottom part.”
Cheyenne- “When he’s busy at sea, I’m on shore ready to spend time with him and family and vice versa. Our schedules are always backwards.”
Natasha- “Double the command events means double the cost for event tickets!”
Mandi- “Being the same rate and being compared to your spouse when you inevitably get stationed somewhere the other has been.”
Jenn- “For a cross-branched couple, having to figure out all the acronyms for the other branch is a pain!”
Now for the Pros!
PROS OF THE DUAL MILITARY MARRIAGE
Rachel- “When you see each other so rarely that the naked time is AMAZING. It’s like having a honeymoon over and over!”
Kathryn- “I tell people (jokingly) all the time that it’s what kept my marriage together. Every time we got sick of each other it was time for one of us to deploy!”
Hope- “Having someone who has been where I am and who truly knows what I mean.”
Cecily- “We are both competitive with each other so it motivates us and drives us to keep pushing harder.”
Deanna- “Understanding why your spouse has to work the hours they do. Trying to explain it to someone who isn’t in these boots can be frustrating sometimes.”
Southern- “We are the same rate so we completely understand each other when we vent about complicated customers.”
Jaqueline- “Since we’re not stationed together, I get to eat cereal for dinner or burgers every night because I don’t have to worry about what he wants!”
Holly- “My husband is a Marine so he always wants me to look and be the best. He keeps me on point and tells me straight up when something is off.”
Jen- “No one can send a better care package on the boat! They know exactly what you need, want, and have room for because they have been there!”
Mandi- “Unlike other couples we have time to miss each other and in turn never take for granted the time we get to spend together.”
Kerstin- “Being different rates, we tend to joke on each other about it. I’m a Navy CTT so I ‘can’t tell him or I’ll have to kill him’ when it comes to my work day and he’s a Navy RP so he ‘cleaned Baby Jesus today.’”
Written By: Katherine Gauthier @ www.militaryspouse.com
